how to talk to your parents

Teen Devotions
Having good, healthy, meaningful relationships is hard work. You have to work at it.
You’ve got to want to work at it even when it is difficult to do and easier to not do. This
includes have good friendships, getting along with siblings, and even opening up to your
parents.

Your parents probably fall into one of these categories (have the children fill out
quick surveys that ask them to identify which category both of their parents fall
into):
1. Easy to talk too about anything
2. Hard to talk to and you fell like the don’t understand where you are coming
from
3. Is often judgmental or critical of you when you open up to them
4. Don’t talk to you at all

Just like it’s hard to have good relationships for you, it is also hard for adults. Just
because you get older doesn’t mean things get any easier. In fact, things become more
complex and the responsibility becomes even that much more intense for an adult. You
can, however, have good, open relationships with your parents. You don’t have to live a
life hiding things from them. As a matter of fact, you shouldn’t live a life hiding things
from them. Here are some quick pointers that you can use to start working on improving
your relationship with your parents and open up the doors of communication.

1. Start by letting them know that you want to work on talking to them more. You can
just tell your parents that you want to share more of what is going on with you with them
and would like for you both to begin working on improving this area.

2. Find a time that you and your parents can be comfortable and relaxed together.

3. Make sure no one is focusing on something else while you’re together No paying bills,
playing Playstation, making dinner, or watching TV! Try to look your parents in the eye
when you speak with them.

NOTE: These first three steps might take some effort and patience. Be persistent.

4. If you just want to shoot the breeze try to bring up something they’re interested in. Ask
them questions about their day.

5. If you have something specific you want to talk about let them know exactly what it is.
Don’t beat around the bush.

6. If they react badly to what you tell them really listen to them. . Don’t react badly back
– VERY IMPORTANT!. Let them finish and don’t interrupt. When they are finished, ask
them as respectfully as you can to do the same for you.

7. When you feel like you’ve told them what you wanted to, thank them for listening.
Remain respectful and keep your voice calm even if you’re upset.

8. If you feel like there are still things that need to be talked about set up a time with
them to talk about it another day.

9. Pray to God to help you all continue to work through this.

Tips:

1. Pray first. Ask God for His help and wisdom before you begin talking about something
deep and serious.

2. Show them respect by focusing your attention on the conversation, looking them in
the eyes, and by not being sarcastic or rolling your eyes.

3. Be honest. Honesty builds trust. And life is good when your parents trust you.

4. Stay cool. If you stay calm when things get heated up you’re showing maturity and
your parents will respect that.

5. If you are having a hard time getting out what you want to say, write it down. Send
your parents an e-mail or a letter with what you want to talk about. Writing it down does
not replace talking to your parents, but it can be an easier way to get the ball rolling.

This is not something that just gets better in one day. You will have to keep working at
it, praying, and working. Things will get better. Either your relationship with your parents
will grow, or God will send someone to help you. He will not send someone to you that
will cause division between you and your parents or someone that does not want to do
things God’s way. Whoever God sends to help will be someone that has your best
interest as well as you parents’ best interest at heart.

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