Youth Leader Question:

XYM Answer: Well, honestly as long as I have worked with youth, only a handful have shown zeal while they were young.  The majority of the time, the fruit of the Word did not show up until they were adults.  I don’t believe this to have to be the case, (I am sure there are youth groups around full of students excited about serving God) but I unfortunately have not experienced a youth group where the majority of the youth are living totally sold out for God and displaying that zeal outwardly.

 I have also found that just because they are not showing a zeal does not mean the Word is not impacting and changing them.  Many youth just don’t “show it.”  Part of this is the nature of a teen.  Sometimes they may just kinda sit there and act like they are bored or not listening.  This many times is not the case.  Many times as adult leaders we want them to respond to the Word and worship as we do.  Most of them don’t in my experience, but that does not take away from our responsibility in teaching them, modeling before them, and encouraging them.  It also does not take away from them experiencing God at their level.

 On a different note, what do they respond to?  Attention and consistent care.  Almost every time.  You want to reach them, you get involved personally.  Don’t be so concerned about their outward “spritual” display per say, but we as leaders showing them Jesus by being Jesus in their lives…man, talk about impact…

 Now, I will say, when you have a smaller group, probably about 25 kids or so, the opportunity to invest the Word into them is much greater.  I would suggest doing small group activities (groups of about 5 or 6 youth) on a regular basis that allow open discussion between the youth and the leaders of the group.  Keeping the youth leader and the youth in the group consistent is a plus – meaning the same youth meet in the same group with the same leaders each time if possible.  The development of the relationships between the leader and the youth, and ultimately the leader and the parents/guardians, goes a very long way.  I have some of my “adult” youth now that contact me on a regular basis based on the relationship that  we developed when they were teens.  Small groups are powerful, powerful ways to invest your heart and the Word.  They get to know you as a leader and through you, get to know God.

 These are just my suggestions from my limited life experience and research.  Every church has their own set of circumstances that make things work or not work as well as their own vision for their youth ministry, so feel free to try things and see what is working for your group – the kids will definitely let you know!  LOL.

Visit us at www.ExamplesFamily.org.

Examples Family Ministries is the arm of Examples Ministries, Inc. that exists to serve one purpose, to strengthen the entire family – Mothers, Fathers, Husbands, Wives, Children and Youth. By offering a variety of equipping resources and biblical insight, we strive to provide individuals and families, from all walks of life, with tools that will assist them in growing personally and investing their faith in God in others.

Vision and Mission of Examples Family Ministries

Titus 2:1 – 8 (MSG)

Your job is to speak out on the things that make for solid doctrine. Guide older men into lives of temperance, dignity, and wisdom, into healthy faith, love, and endurance. Guide older women into lives of reverence so they end up as neither gossips nor drunks, but models of goodness. By looking at them, the younger women will know how to love their husbands and children, be virtuous and pure, keep a good house, be good wives. We don’t want anyone looking down on God’s Message because of their behavior. Also, guide the young men to live disciplined lives. But mostly, show them all this by doing it yourself, incorruptible in your teaching, your words solid and sane. Then anyone who is dead set against us, when he finds nothing weird or misguided, might eventually come around.

Our mission is to provide Families, Parents, Children’s Ministry Leaders, Youth Ministry Leaders, Ministries and Organizations with resources, information, teaching, and training that empower them to:

1. Grow in faith.
2. Strengthen families.
3. Impart their faith in God and His Word to their children and others.
4. Develop and strengthen programming within their ministries, organizations and communities in order to do all of the above.

Examples Family currently has the following areas of ministry focus:

• Children’s Ministry Resources – provides information and resources to support churches in their Children’s Ministry efforts and in their connection to the families that they serve.
   
• XYM (Examples Youth Ministries) – provides information and resources to support churches and youth organizations in their efforts to reach youth grades 6th – 12th and their parents.
   
• Mother’s Ministry – provides information, resources, assistance, and encouragement to mothers from all walks of life. Provides resources for churches and organizations to develop and maintain mom’s groups that desire to provide encouragement, equipping, information, natural and spiritual support for mothers; ultimately equipping mothers to impart their faith to their children and serve their families in motherhood. We also provide information and workshops designed to further equip leaders of mothers groups as well workshops for mothers and families.
   
• Parenting Ministry – provides information and resources for equipping parents in their role of “parenting” and imparting their faith to their children.
   
• Marriage Ministry – provides natural and Biblical information and resources to help strengthen marriages.
   
• Outreach – Works to provide resources, training, time, skills, or whatever is needed to assist individuals or families in need; either nationally or internationally. This can take on many forms; either partnering with existing organizations or creating our own outreach opportunity.

• Realize that God has a plan for you!
• Recognize His plan for you is unique and specific.
• Realize you do not choose your plan, but discover it.
• Identify ways to help you discover His plan for you!

Click here to download this lesson.

How does a Christian truly love someone they don’t agree with, especially in heated issues like homosexuality? A lesbian student, Constance McMillen, requested to escort her girlfriend to the senior prom in Jackson, MS. (Associated Press). Soon after, the Itawamba County School district canceled the dance “due to the distractions to the educational process caused by recent events.”

The American Civil Liberties Union of Mississippi filed a lawsuit on 18-year-old Constance’s behalf, seeking a court order for the school to hold the prom, allow her to escort her girlfriend and wear a tuxedo. The ACLU previously demanded that banning same-sex prom dates violated students’ rights and that not allowing her to wear a suit violated her free expression rights. Who knows if the board was full of well-intentioned individuals or just the opposite, but from a believers’ perspective, did this situation breed love?

Since circumstances like this are not specifically mentioned in the Bible, how do we figure out just exactly “what would Jesus do?” We all know that Jesus is a not a “respecter of persons” (Romans 2:11). You never see Jesus in the Bible anywhere shaming away any of the biggest sinners… He still was gentle towards the woman at the well, the tax collectors, etc. The only time you even see him get angry at anyone was at the religious leaders who were so high-minded on the smallest issues that they missed the very definition of what it means to love (Matthew 15, 21:12).

Does loving Constance mean to block her from attending prom because she is going astray from God’s plans and attempt to save her from herself and from potentially influencing other students to honor what God does not?

Or does loving Constance mean to stay secure in who you are in Christ, but allowing her to attend prom in the manner she wants to because it’s her decision how to live her life?

In the eyes of a believer, homosexuality goes against God’s commandments. But not everyone in this world is a believer. And it is a Christian’s duty to still love everyone, including Constance, but what would be the best example of it?

Are you confused about what to do not that you are finished with high school? Have your college plans been shattered?  Are you afraid of what is ahead of you in this next phase of your life?  Do you think you have your plans all mapped out and know exactly what direction you are going?  Well, this devotion is for you!

Click here to download this devotion. 

America…what do you think of Ellen DeGeneres as a judge on American Idol?

We are now in Season 9 and the first week of the Top 12 contestants has begun.  I have to tell you this season has drawn me in and it isn’t because of the new contestants.  It is because of the new judge Ellen DeGeneres.  This is Ellen’s first season on American Idol replacing former judge Paula Abdul who had been a judge since Season 1. Many have mixed feelings on having Ellen on the judge panel.  Some say what does she know about music?  I feel that she represents a voice for America.  While the other 3 judges may be able to give input on the pitch, tone, or the selection of song, Ellen speaks from the heart and gives good and constructive criticism.  She keeps me tuned in because I always want to know if she is going to say what I am thinking.  I don’t know about you, but I will continue to watch Season 9 of American Idol and Ellen welcome to the show!

Examples readers what do you think?  Take our poll to the right!

Materials:

Three headbands or headpieces that you can stick paper into

10-15 index cards

Marker

 Instructions:

1.)    Get three headbands or headpieces onto which you can slot or stick a piece of paper or card into it. 

2.)    Make sure you have 10-15 cards, and write the name of a celebrity in big letters on each card. 

3.)    Then choose three volunteers to sit in front of the group. Place a headpiece with a card on each volunteer. 

4.)    Be careful not to let them see the name of the person on their headpiece. It’s their job to guess which name is on their head, but the catch is the answer can only ask “yes” or
“no” questions. (For example, “Am I a male?”  “Am I on TV?”)

5.)    Each person can ask as many questions as they want until they get a “No” answer, then it goes to the next person and so-on until eventually someone guesses and they are declared the winner!

6.)    This works well if you throw in a ‘local’ celebrity (such as the Youth Pastor, etc)

Anyway, as the e-mails began to fly around preparing for this next attempt to recruit for youth ministry, I began to wonder about youth ministry positions - are our current positions tailor made for our ministry and what we needed?  It reminded me of a question a Youth Ministry Director sent me a few weeks ago after reading an article on our site called “Relational Youth Ministry – Leader Communication with Parents.”    See the question below:

I would like to hear some more suggestions related to this article. We have horrible troubles with communicating to parents even though we do all of the things suggested above. We’ve tried mailing letters, and they say they never get them. We try e-mailing multiple times about everything we do, but parents still act oblivious to what’s happening in the youth group. I really don’t have time to call each parent in the youth group individually for every event. We’re just not sure what to do about this problem.

Well, the problem she describes is definitely not uncommon when working in youth ministry.  A couple of things come to mind when I consider her issue:

1. She may need another hand or two to help out in her youth ministry…or at minimum have her current leaders, if she has the luxury of having leaders on her team, take on additional responsibility to assist her.

2. Maybe creating a position called “Parent Connections Coordinator” could help in directing a new or current volunteer on this specific need and how to go about meeting it.  Just think about it – having one person dedicated to building relationships between the parent and the youth ministry…especially in a smaller church (1 – 500 members is what I’m thinking) – this could potentially go a long way and be very effective.

The volunteer positions that you create don’t have to be ones that are common to other youth ministries.  Drama Coordinator, Small Groups Leader, Jr. High Coordinator, Game Room Supervisor, Alter Worker, etc…all of these are definitely positions that volunteers can fill.  But when you have a specific need, and no extra hands to help meet it, then recruiting may be in order…and having a description to explain your specific need can help you find just the right volunteer match as well as let them know exactly what they are committing to.

Here is a sample position description template for you to use for reference when creating yours.  This is a position we created specifically for what we need here at XYM.  If you have any other questions regarding developing position descriptions and recruting, feel free to comment below!

Position Description – Entertainment/Youth Culture Researcher

 Initiating acts of love (which means the love expression starts with something you do) towards others can be very fun and easy to do, especially on Valentine’s Day.  Over time, we begin to associate initiated actions of goodness and kindness with the love we have for others and most times begin to think that initiated actions of love are the only forms of true love.  However, the Bible talks about other forms of love that are just as, if not more, important.  I call them “Responding Acts of Love”.

 What are Responding Acts of Love?

 Responding acts of love are the things you do to express goodness and kindness toward others when they initiate any action (whether good or bad) towards you.  In other words, it is how you react to something that is done to you.  For example, when your classmate gave you the “You’re Groovy” card, you say “Thank You” or give them a card in return.  That’s a responding act of love; someone did something nice for you and you in turn did something nice for them.  That is usually also fun and easy to do. However, the type of responding acts of love I want to discuss today is expressing love towards someone after they have initiated bad actions towards you. To me, this is when true love is expressed in its purest form. 

 As you go through the Bible, it seems like God spends a lot of time instructing us on how to respond when someone does us wrong.  It seems like the appropriate and justified action would be to act mean to them too, but that is so far from what God sees as love.  Let’s look at some instructions from the Bible on how we should respond when we think others have done us wrong.

 Biblical View of Responding Acts of Love

 1.       Being quick to forgive.

Matthew 6:14-15 – “For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.”

 2.       Not taking into account the wrong done to you.

1 Corinthians 13:5 AMP –“…it (love) takes no account of the evil done to it [it pays no attention to a suffered wrong].”

 3.       Not returning an evil for evil.

Matthew 5:38-39 Message – “Here’s another old saying that deserves a second look: ‘Eye for eye, tooth for tooth.’ Is that going to get us anywhere? Here’s what I propose: ‘Don’t hit back at all.’ If someone strikes you, stand there and take it.”

 4.       Speaking kind words in response to harsh words.

Proverbs 15:1 – “A gentle response defuses anger, but a sharp tongue kindles a temper-fire.”

 5.       Pray for those who initiate bad actions toward you.

Matthew 5:44-45 Message – I’m telling you to love your enemies. Let them bring out the best in you, not the worst. When someone gives you a hard time, respond with the energies of prayer, for then you are working out of your true selves, your God-created selves. This is what God does. He gives his best—the sun to warm and the rain to nourish—to everyone, regardless: the good and bad, the nice and nasty.

Doing the above mentioned things is what true love really is. Expressing love to someone that is not expressing love towards you is the love of our God.  Jesus died for us no matter if we choose to serve Him or not.  So, how can you begin to improve your expression of love towards those that are in your life?

“Love is patient and kind (I Cor 13:4).” Many generously wanted to send food, clothes and blankets. However, the best tool Haiti could ever acquire for the massive earthquake cleanup would be the funds to keep the rescue efforts coming. And many responded accordingly. U.S. Magazine reported that celebrities helped raise $9 million in one night on Larry King Live. And this does not include donations the average household contributed to the American Red Cross and other charities. Even the young generation broke media relief records by texting contributions through cell phones and chalking up a $10 charge on next month’s bill. 

 “Love never gives up, never loses faith… (I Cor 13:7).”Aid organization Doctors Without Borders had five supply planes diverted from their rescue mission. But it didn’t stop the organization from using quick thinking to do their absolute all in saving lives. Renzo Fricke, the group’s chief in Haiti, told CNN that in order to make life-saving operations: “This morning we had to buy a saw in the market, in the city … for our surgeons to do amputations,” he said, “the medical equipment is not coming as it should arrive.”

Everyone can do something to make a difference in some way.  No matter your age or your financial position or where you live, we call can do something to help in the relief efforts in Haiti.

1. Give, give, give.  The relief effort in Haiti is not going away any time soon.  There are months of work ahead for the Haitian people to rebuild and financial support will need to keep coming.  Find a local charity (or maybe your local church has something going there) to give financially to as often as you or as God leads.  Examples supports Compassion International, a Christian child advocacy ministry that releases children from spiritual, economic, social and physical poverty and enables them to become responsible, fulfilled Christian adults.  http://www.compassion.com  You can make a donation directly to their Haiti relief effort by clicking the below:

https://www.compassion.com/contribution/default.htm

2. Pray, pray, pray.  We should all pray frequently regarding the recovery of Haiti.  Prayer for the families that lost loved ones, for children who lost parents and siblings, for families that lost homes, for individuals that lost everything, for the government to rebuild and strengthen.  There is so much to pray for and God will hear you and answer.

3. Mission Trips.  If the opportunity presents itself, consider taking a missions trip to Haiti to help in the relief efforts and serve the Haitian people with God’s love.  Northwest Haiti Christian Mission is just one organization that is offering opportunities to travel to Haiti to minister to their people.  http://www.nwhcm.org  Your local church may also be planning trips for you and your family to get involved in. 

We all are able to do at least one of the above items in order to help this country.  If you know of other ways for people to get involved with Haiti relief, please let us know by posting a comment or contacting us at contact@examplesyouth.org.  We will review and post for others to read about.