figuring out God’s plan – a lesson for the graduate

This lesson is designed to help lead youth into identifying God’s plan for their lives; which may not be as hard as they may think!
In this lesson:

• Realize that God has a plan for you!
• Recognize His plan for you is unique and specific.
• Realize you do not choose your plan, but discover it.
• Identify ways to help you discover His plan for you!

Click here to download this lesson.

is it okay to date a non-christian? (lesson)

There are many things that I believe the Bible gives very clear instructions on, but at the same time gives room for “heart intent” and grace for limited understanding and times of personal growth and maturity in the Word. The subject of this lesson, I believe, falls into this category.

1. No Communion with Unbelievers

Let’s start by looking at 2 Corinthians 6:14.

Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in
common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?

The word yoked means to be “joined” together or to be “attached.”

When people fellowship or when you have a “communion”, there is some type of common association in which an “exchange” of some sort is happening.

Here are a few types of words used to describe fellowship and communion:

Share, community, association, joint participation…here are some deep ones…intimacy, intercourse (Oooo…)

Based on these words, this scripture is basically asking us:
“How can two people that are unequal have a true, intimate relationship?”

We are not saying that one person is better than the other. That’s not what this means.

It’s asking, “How can two people who believe differently, have different values and morals have an effective relationship”?

If you have made a decision to live a life according to God’s Word, it’s important that you do your best to put people in your life that have decided the same. If not, you may have a harder time, maybe even impossible time, trying to live a life pleasing to God and one filled with His blessings. You also will open your life up to a boat load of conflicts, arguments, disagreements, and DRAMA. From how to spend your money, how to raise your kids, how to resolve issues…when one person wants to do the Word and the other can care less about doing the Word…you get my drift. The Bible tells us that two people living like this CANNOT do any of the above effectively:

Amos 3:3 (New Living Translation)
Can two people walk together without agreeing on the direction?

1 Corinthians 6:15 (New Living Translation)
What harmony can there be between Christ and the devil? How can a believer be a partner with an unbeliever?

After reading this, it should be pretty clear what the Word of God instructs in regards to being in a romantic relationship with someone that does not confess Jesus as Lord AND does not desire to live according to the Word.

The answer is: We should not do it!

2. I Know People That Are Married but Only One Spouse is Saved…What About Them?

There are many, many circumstances where a couple is married and one person is saved and the other person isn’t.

This could happen for a number of reasons:
1. Neither were saved when they got married, but one became saved after the fact.
2. The saved partner didn’t know any better (regarding what the Word says) at the time they got married.
3. The saved partner really didn’t care that the other person was not saved and married them anyway.

Whatever the reasons are, God in His infinite wisdom has made allowances in His Word for this and has given the saved partner instructions on how to apply the Word:

1 Corinthians 7:12 – 15
12 Now, I will speak to the rest of you, though I do not have a direct command from the Lord. If a Christian man has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to continue living with him, he must not leave her. 13 And if a Christian woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to continue living with her, she must not leave him. 14 For the Christian wife brings holiness to her marriage, and the Christian husband brings holiness to his marriage. Otherwise, your children would not be holy, but now they are holy. 15 (But if the husband or wife who isn’t a believer insists on leaving, let them go. In such cases the Christian husband or wife is no longer bound to the other, for God has called you to live in peace.)

God also gives instructions on how a saved spouse can lead an unsaved spouse to Christ:

1 Peter 3:1 – 2
1 In the same way, you wives must accept the authority of your husbands. Then, even if some refuse to obey the Good News, your godly lives will speak to them without any words. They will be won over 2 by observing your pure and reverent lives.

Even though this scripture is talking to wives, the principle of living a godly life in front of your spouse applies to husbands as well in order for them to lead their unsaved wives to God.

In one area of the Word, God is clearly instructing us to not join ourselves in close relationships (like courting and marriage) with unbelievers, but also shows us how to live if we end up in a marriage with someone that does not believe the Word. God is so good to us.

3. What This is NOT Saying

OK, just to make some things clear, let’s outline a couple of things that this these scriptures are NOT saying:

a. They are not saying that you have a choice to enter into “either” a relationship with a Christian or one with a non-Christian.

Yes, ultimately it is our own choice and free will to do what we want to do, but the Word is instructing us on the best way to enter into a relationship, while also extending grace to those that did not enter into a relationship the best way.

b. They are not saying that a relationship will not work out if you don’t follow instruction #1.

On the contrary, God wants His goodness in our lives and has done all that He can to ensure we experience His goodness, even in our missteps.

Some may have parents that are not both saved. Life can still be good – for both them and for you.

Either application of the Word explained above will produce God’s goodness for all involved. One path may be a bit more challenging than the other, but good nevertheless.

Lesson Downloads
- For Instructors
- For Students

is dating in the bible? (lesson)

Is dating in the Bible? To answer upfront NO.

Dating, by definition, is a fairly new concept to our culture.

Now, as time goes on, new cultural and social practices will continue to be introduced and created.

Things will always be changing in this world we live in and social norms will continue to evolve.

It is because of this, however, that we should cling to what the Word instructs us regarding all areas of our lives so that we don’t stray too far from God’s original intent for His us.

Example:
God created music. He created it for our enjoyment and for His for that matter. The ways we listen to and enjoy music, however, has changed since the beginning of mankind. We are living in a world where we can access music from just about anywhere; the internet, our phones, music videos, downloads, etc. Even though the ease or access, distribution, and creation have changed, God’s original intent has not. The impact music has on and in us has not. Even though God desires for us to enjoy it, He also desires to be glorified in and with music. Also, no matter how music evolves, words will always, ALWAYS have great power.

Proverbs 18: 21 (Message Translation)
Words kill, words give life; they’re either poison or fruit—you choose.

So, no matter how technology advances, the words and lyrics we allow ourselves to listen to will always have the power of death and life in them.

The wisdom from the Word regarding music will always remain constant:
• Guard our hearts with all diligence, for out of our hearts come the issues of life. (Proverbs 4:23)
• Evil communication corrupts good manners. (1 Corinthians 15:33)
• Do not be deceived, God is not mocked. Whatever you sow you will reap. (Galatians 6:7)

The point is, no matter how society evolves the truths of the Word do not and will always apply to our lives in some shape or form.

The same is true regarding this whole dating thing.
We have to take the more modern day practice of dating and line it up the best we can with the models set in the Bible in order to get back to God’s original intent.

Matthew 1:18 (New Living Translation)
This is how Jesus the Messiah was born. His mother, Mary, was engaged to be married to Joseph. But before the marriage took place, while she was still a virgin, she became pregnant through the power of the Holy Spirit.

In the King James version, the word that was used instead of engaged was “espoused.”
This word means the following:

1 to woo her and ask her in marriage
2 to be promised in marriage, be betrothed

The word “espoused” implies that there was some type of relationship between Joseph and Mary before they were married.

Joseph, in some way or fashion, “wooed” Mary in order to win her affections.

This is HEALTHY and GODLY. There is nothing wrong with attempting to win over the affections of someone you like. BUT, God designed for this “wooing” to be going on towards the person we are considering for marriage.

We are not talking about casual attractions here.

We are talking about a person we are seriously considering to marry and be a potential parent for our children.

Now that we have a Biblical model, we should desire for our own personal life applications to follow suit.

Every ones own personal life experiences will merit different forms of applicability, but here are some considerations:

1. If you are in a relationship now, is it with someone that you can see yourself marrying?
2. If you are in a relationship now, do you find yourself interested in other people?
3. Do you go out on dates with different people only because you think it is fun to do?
4. Are you even ready to be considering marriage? Financially, in maturity, responsibly, spiritually?
5. Is marriage the farthest thing from your mind right now, but you still like going out alone with people you are attracted to, engage in kissing and other forms of affection with those people without desiring any type of serious commitment?

OK, so take your answers to those questions and then look back to the model of Joseph and Mary. If you are not “wooing” as a result of a desire and readiness for marriage, then you probably need to just hold off on serious relationships right now.

Just that easy, you are lining yourself up with the Word of God and setting yourself up to receive God’s best in this area of your life.

This is the walk of faith.

To sum this all up:
1. Dating is a fairly new concept to our culture.
2. There are no Biblical examples of “dating.”
3. Our desires regarding relationships, regardless of how our society and culture define them, should always strive to be in line with God’s original intent and plan.

Lesson Downloads
- For Instructors
- For Students

teaching teens how to deal with peer pressure

Lesson #1
Today, we are going to discuss and learn about peer pressure. I am sure that we are all familiar with this term,
but hopefully we can take the time to really find out what it is and how it affects our lives everyday.

First, who can tell me what a “Peer” is?
Peer – one belonging to the same group, especially based on age and grade

Now, let’s define “Pressure.”
Pressure – the application of force to something by something else that is in direct contact with it

When you put those two words together, you get “Peer Pressure!”
Peer Pressure – A peer, someone belonging to your group, putting pressure, or force, on you to behave a
certain way.

Talk it Over
Anyone and anything that you hang around for any significant amount of time influences you in some kind of
way.

• Name a TV commercial that you have seen that made you want to purchase what it was selling.
• Name a book that you were reading that made you want to try what you read about.
• Name an authority figure in your life that influenced you to do something good that you normally would
not have done.

Let’s read about an example of this in the Bible. Let’s read Acts 2:1 – 15, 40 – 41. Peter was able to
influence the entire crowd by the words that he spoke. The crowd thought that the people that were praying in
tongues were drunk, but Peter shared with them all about the power of God and the Holy Spirit, and many
believed and got born again and baptized after he spoke.

This is an example of how we can be influenced by what others do and say around us. Next time we meet, we
will learn more about how we are sometimes influenced to do negative things and ways we can overcome bad
pressure from our peers.

Lesson #2
Topic – Bad Peer Pressure
Today we are going to talk about “bad” peer pressure. Does anyone have an idea of what we would consider
to be bad peer pressure? (Let a few children give examples).

What is it?
Bad peer pressure would be one of your peers influencing you to do something that is wrong or something that
you do not want to do. Has this ever happened to anyone?

Sometimes it is hard to make decisions on our own, but, it gets even harder when we have others influencing
us in a bad way. Let’s look at an example of this in the Bible. Jesus had just been taken into custody before
His crucifixion. Let’s read about what Pilate did in Matthew 27:11 – 26.
Pilate knew that Jesus was an innocent man, but he let the crowd persuade him into letting Barabbas go
instead of Jesus. We all have done this at one time or another – allowed someone else to pressure us into
making a decision we knew was wrong. How can we avoid this in the future?

1. Choose Good Friends – You should want to choose friends that desire to make good decisions. If
you are hanging around people that want to do what is right, most likely, you will do what is right too!

2. Practice saying “NO!” If you know you are about to be in a situation that may put you in the position
of doing something you don’t want to do, practice how you will say no before you get there. When you
are by yourself, play out how you will address the situation. For example, if you know someone is
going to try and make you lie to your parents, you can practice your response by saying something like,
“You know, I lied to my parents before and it didn’t turn out too good. I think I will just stick to the truth
this time.” When you practice this alone, you are more prepared when you have to face it in real life.

3. Be the “Leader of the Pack!” – Most of the time, if you are in a group of kids and there is someone
trying to influence others to do something wrong, there are more kids beside you in the group that don’t
want to do it. If you stand up and say, “No, I think I will pass,” you will empower other kids to do the
same, and they will probably follow you! What a leader you will become!

Lesson #3
Topic – “Peer Pressure Traps – Self Image and Acceptance.”
Peer Pressure Traps
Even though we learned ways to overcome bad peer pressure, there are some traps to negative pressure that
we can put ourselves in if we are not careful. Sometimes, the things we feel and do make us more vulnerable
to sway towards the leading of a more negative crowd. Let’s learn about some of these traps today.

Bad Self Image – What is a self image? Our self image is how we see or view ourselves. When we have a
bad self image, this makes us more likely to sway to the thoughts and opinions of others in order to feel
accepted. Your self image includes things like1
• What you think you look like
• How you see your own personality
• What kind of person you think you are
• What you think others think of you
• How much you like yourself or you think others like you

If you feel bad about any of these items, then you may look to others to validate who you are by going along
with the things they want to do. This does two things to you:
1. Continues to make you feel bad about yourself
2. Keeps you from developing into the person God has designed for you to be

Let’s see what the Bible has to say about this. Let’s Read Psalm 139:12 – 16. As you can see, when God
made you, He made you wonderful. There were no mistakes. What you look like and your personality is how
He fashioned you.

When you don’t feel good about these things, then you look to others to make you feel good about them. This
can lead you to making poor decisions – ones that you would not normally make if you were alone. Here are
some things you can do to improve your self image.

Focus on what you do well. Find out what it is you excel in and direct your interest there. Develop that talent
or skill; get involved in activities that allow you to utilize it. Maybe you like playing an instrument, singing,
drawing, acting, dancing, sports, etc. Find a class or a group that you can become a part of. This will make
you feel better about yourself and put you around others that appreciate what you do!

Work on what you don’t like. If you don’t like the way you dress, your weight, your hair, etc, are there things
you can do to work on these areas? Can you talk with your parents about getting different clothes that better
suite your style but fit in the family budget? What about your mother helping you out with combing your hair in
a way you like better? If you want to lose weight, maybe talk with your parents about things you can do as a
family to help you achieve your weight goals. There are always things you can do to help build your
confidence in yourself. You just have to be willing to do them!

Don’t compare yourself with others – be who you are! You cannot achieve what God has for you in life if
you spend your time comparing your gifts, talents, skills, and looks to someone else. God created you for His
purpose and He cannot use you if you are trying to fulfill someone else’s purpose. Decide to like who you are.
Decide to focus on your strengths and abilities. Let God unfold how He wants to utilize them in His kingdom
and how He can use them to bring you happiness and fulfillment in your life!

Click here for a pdf version of this post.

lukewarm christian

Teaching Teens to Decide Wholeheartedly to Live for God

What does it mean to be “lukewarm”? Let’s read Revelations 3:14 –16

OBJECT LESSON
Have a cup or small bowl of ice, a mug of hot water, and a room temperature mug of water. Have a volunteer come up to help you demonstrate the below.

When you think of being lukewarm, you think of something that is somewhere in the middle. Put your hand in this cup (the cup of ice). What does this feel like? OK, now put your hand in this one (the hot one). What does that feel like? OK, now feel this one (the room temperature one). Would you say this one is hot or cold?

When you are a lukewarm Christian, you are not “hot” enough to be living entirely for God, but not “cold” enough to say you are not a Christian.

When you try to mix the two, you only cause confusion in your life and in the lives of those around you! How do you know if you are lukewarm?

When you are lukewarm, you tend to only do the Word when it is easy, convenient, or comfortable for you. For example:

1. When you are around other Christians
2. When you really need something from God
3. When you feel bad about something
4. When you need some money!
5. When you are in danger or in trouble

Some questions to ask yourself to find out if you are lukewarm:

o When you are around certain people, do you forget about doing the Word and being pleasing to God?

o When you don’t feel like doing the right thing according to the Bible, do you just blow it off?

o When you hear the Word, does it feel like it really means something to you right then, but later or in a day or two you go back to doing the opposite of what you heard? (James 1:22 – 27 talks about being a forgetful hearer of the Word).

So, if all of this is coming too close to describing you, what are steps to take to turn this around in your life? How do our hearts become good ground for God’s Word to flourish and grow?

o First, make a decision to do the Word. Believing “in” God is not enough. The devil believes in God! You have to make a decision that you are going to do your best to live like the Word instructs you to live. (James 2:19 – 20 says that our faith without works is dead).

o Make sure you are attending church and getting fed the Word of God. You should find a church that teaches you the Word and how to live it.

o Spend personal time in the Word – every day! Get a daily devotion book, go online to find teen Bible Study Lessons (log on to www.examplesyouth.org!), buy a Teen Study Bible that makes the Word easier to read and understand. Whatever it takes, you have to begin studying and reading the Word on your own. Going to church once or twice a week is not enough to sustain your life in God. The world is coming at us 24/7. We’ve got to combat it with putting God’s Word inside of us.

o Pray (1 Thessalonians 5:17, Psalm 5:1 – 3). Praying throughout the day as well as setting aside time to pray.

o Hang out with other kids that believe the Word and desire to live it.

Once you are doing those steps, here is what happens when we decide to seek God with your whole heart and not settle at being lukewarm (Revelations 3:17 – 22):

o You are now empowered to be successful in everything you do.

o You are now able to see and understand things you normally would not have been able to. Things you did not know how to fix, problems you were having with your family, at school, with a friend, etc. – your understanding will become clearer because you are now aligning your heart with hearing from God and His Word on how to live your life.

o You are no longer living subject to the world and its ways. When you are not living subject to the world, you are not subject to the results of living a worldly life as well. Broken relationships, sickness, lack and poverty, failure. God wants to direct us in our lives so that we are not subject to the curse of the world, but to the blessings of life and life more abundantly (John 10:10)

Click here for a pdf version of this post.