Ask the Youth Director – “Creating Zeal in our Students”

Youth Leader Question: What are some things you did besides prayer that gave the youth you worked with that zeal / passion for christ?

XYM Answer: Well, honestly as long as I have worked with youth, only a handful have shown zeal while they were young.  The majority of the time, the fruit of the Word did not show up until they were adults.  I don’t believe this to have to be the case, (I am sure there are youth groups around full of students excited about serving God) but I unfortunately have not experienced a youth group where the majority of the youth are living totally sold out for God and displaying that zeal outwardly.

 I have also found that just because they are not showing a zeal does not mean the Word is not impacting and changing them.  Many youth just don’t “show it.”  Part of this is the nature of a teen.  Sometimes they may just kinda sit there and act like they are bored or not listening.  This many times is not the case.  Many times as adult leaders we want them to respond to the Word and worship as we do.  Most of them don’t in my experience, but that does not take away from our responsibility in teaching them, modeling before them, and encouraging them.  It also does not take away from them experiencing God at their level.

 On a different note, what do they respond to?  Attention and consistent care.  Almost every time.  You want to reach them, you get involved personally.  Don’t be so concerned about their outward “spritual” display per say, but we as leaders showing them Jesus by being Jesus in their lives…man, talk about impact…

 Now, I will say, when you have a smaller group, probably about 25 kids or so, the opportunity to invest the Word into them is much greater.  I would suggest doing small group activities (groups of about 5 or 6 youth) on a regular basis that allow open discussion between the youth and the leaders of the group.  Keeping the youth leader and the youth in the group consistent is a plus – meaning the same youth meet in the same group with the same leaders each time if possible.  The development of the relationships between the leader and the youth, and ultimately the leader and the parents/guardians, goes a very long way.  I have some of my “adult” youth now that contact me on a regular basis based on the relationship that  we developed when they were teens.  Small groups are powerful, powerful ways to invest your heart and the Word.  They get to know you as a leader and through you, get to know God.

 These are just my suggestions from my limited life experience and research.  Every church has their own set of circumstances that make things work or not work as well as their own vision for their youth ministry, so feel free to try things and see what is working for your group – the kids will definitely let you know!  LOL.

Examples Family – Strengthening Families and the Ministries that Serve Them!

Visit us at www.ExamplesFamily.org.

Examples Family Ministries is the arm of Examples Ministries, Inc. that exists to serve one purpose, to strengthen the entire family – Mothers, Fathers, Husbands, Wives, Children and Youth. By offering a variety of equipping resources and biblical insight, we strive to provide individuals and families, from all walks of life, with tools that will assist them in growing personally and investing their faith in God in others.

Vision and Mission of Examples Family Ministries

Titus 2:1 – 8 (MSG)

Your job is to speak out on the things that make for solid doctrine. Guide older men into lives of temperance, dignity, and wisdom, into healthy faith, love, and endurance. Guide older women into lives of reverence so they end up as neither gossips nor drunks, but models of goodness. By looking at them, the younger women will know how to love their husbands and children, be virtuous and pure, keep a good house, be good wives. We don’t want anyone looking down on God’s Message because of their behavior. Also, guide the young men to live disciplined lives. But mostly, show them all this by doing it yourself, incorruptible in your teaching, your words solid and sane. Then anyone who is dead set against us, when he finds nothing weird or misguided, might eventually come around.

Our mission is to provide Families, Parents, Children’s Ministry Leaders, Youth Ministry Leaders, Ministries and Organizations with resources, information, teaching, and training that empower them to:

1. Grow in faith.
2. Strengthen families.
3. Impart their faith in God and His Word to their children and others.
4. Develop and strengthen programming within their ministries, organizations and communities in order to do all of the above.

Examples Family currently has the following areas of ministry focus:

• Children’s Ministry Resources – provides information and resources to support churches in their Children’s Ministry efforts and in their connection to the families that they serve.
   
• XYM (Examples Youth Ministries) – provides information and resources to support churches and youth organizations in their efforts to reach youth grades 6th – 12th and their parents.
   
• Mother’s Ministry – provides information, resources, assistance, and encouragement to mothers from all walks of life. Provides resources for churches and organizations to develop and maintain mom’s groups that desire to provide encouragement, equipping, information, natural and spiritual support for mothers; ultimately equipping mothers to impart their faith to their children and serve their families in motherhood. We also provide information and workshops designed to further equip leaders of mothers groups as well workshops for mothers and families.
   
• Parenting Ministry – provides information and resources for equipping parents in their role of “parenting” and imparting their faith to their children.
   
• Marriage Ministry – provides natural and Biblical information and resources to help strengthen marriages.
   
• Outreach – Works to provide resources, training, time, skills, or whatever is needed to assist individuals or families in need; either nationally or internationally. This can take on many forms; either partnering with existing organizations or creating our own outreach opportunity.

figuring out God’s plan – a lesson for the graduate

This lesson is designed to help lead youth into identifying God’s plan for their lives; which may not be as hard as they may think!
In this lesson:

• Realize that God has a plan for you!
• Recognize His plan for you is unique and specific.
• Realize you do not choose your plan, but discover it.
• Identify ways to help you discover His plan for you!

Click here to download this lesson.

celebrity head game

Materials:

Three headbands or headpieces that you can stick paper into

10-15 index cards

Marker

 Instructions:

1.)    Get three headbands or headpieces onto which you can slot or stick a piece of paper or card into it. 

2.)    Make sure you have 10-15 cards, and write the name of a celebrity in big letters on each card. 

3.)    Then choose three volunteers to sit in front of the group. Place a headpiece with a card on each volunteer. 

4.)    Be careful not to let them see the name of the person on their headpiece. It’s their job to guess which name is on their head, but the catch is the answer can only ask “yes” or
“no” questions. (For example, “Am I a male?”  “Am I on TV?”)

5.)    Each person can ask as many questions as they want until they get a “No” answer, then it goes to the next person and so-on until eventually someone guesses and they are declared the winner!

6.)    This works well if you throw in a ‘local’ celebrity (such as the Youth Pastor, etc)

recruiting the right youth leaders

I recently helped out with some recruiting efforts at my church for youth ministry.  I assist in Family Ministries there and recently just did a three-week push for children’s ministry recruitment and received a total of 17 new volunteers in one recruitment effort (email me here if you want to know how it happened!).  During the effort, we were able to explain exactly what areas of ministry we needed assistance with and prepared position descriptions to let people know exactly what the volunteer position entailed.  All the position descriptions were custom made to supply our children’s ministry with what we currently need to achieve more maximization of our vision and serve our children and their families well (and better in some circumstances).  For a sample of our children’s ministry position descriptions, shoot me an email and I can send you a few.  Coming in March, we will be launching our Examples Family website which will have a section dedicated to Children’s Ministry and items like this for you to download freely and use for your ministry. 

Anyway, as the e-mails began to fly around preparing for this next attempt to recruit for youth ministry, I began to wonder about youth ministry positions - are our current positions tailor made for our ministry and what we needed?  It reminded me of a question a Youth Ministry Director sent me a few weeks ago after reading an article on our site called “Relational Youth Ministry – Leader Communication with Parents.”    See the question below:

I would like to hear some more suggestions related to this article. We have horrible troubles with communicating to parents even though we do all of the things suggested above. We’ve tried mailing letters, and they say they never get them. We try e-mailing multiple times about everything we do, but parents still act oblivious to what’s happening in the youth group. I really don’t have time to call each parent in the youth group individually for every event. We’re just not sure what to do about this problem.

Well, the problem she describes is definitely not uncommon when working in youth ministry.  A couple of things come to mind when I consider her issue:

1. She may need another hand or two to help out in her youth ministry…or at minimum have her current leaders, if she has the luxury of having leaders on her team, take on additional responsibility to assist her.

2. Maybe creating a position called “Parent Connections Coordinator” could help in directing a new or current volunteer on this specific need and how to go about meeting it.  Just think about it – having one person dedicated to building relationships between the parent and the youth ministry…especially in a smaller church (1 – 500 members is what I’m thinking) – this could potentially go a long way and be very effective.

The volunteer positions that you create don’t have to be ones that are common to other youth ministries.  Drama Coordinator, Small Groups Leader, Jr. High Coordinator, Game Room Supervisor, Alter Worker, etc…all of these are definitely positions that volunteers can fill.  But when you have a specific need, and no extra hands to help meet it, then recruiting may be in order…and having a description to explain your specific need can help you find just the right volunteer match as well as let them know exactly what they are committing to.

Here is a sample position description template for you to use for reference when creating yours.  This is a position we created specifically for what we need here at XYM.  If you have any other questions regarding developing position descriptions and recruting, feel free to comment below!

Position Description – Entertainment/Youth Culture Researcher

 

is it okay to date a non-christian? (lesson)

There are many things that I believe the Bible gives very clear instructions on, but at the same time gives room for “heart intent” and grace for limited understanding and times of personal growth and maturity in the Word. The subject of this lesson, I believe, falls into this category.

1. No Communion with Unbelievers

Let’s start by looking at 2 Corinthians 6:14.

Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in
common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?

The word yoked means to be “joined” together or to be “attached.”

When people fellowship or when you have a “communion”, there is some type of common association in which an “exchange” of some sort is happening.

Here are a few types of words used to describe fellowship and communion:

Share, community, association, joint participation…here are some deep ones…intimacy, intercourse (Oooo…)

Based on these words, this scripture is basically asking us:
“How can two people that are unequal have a true, intimate relationship?”

We are not saying that one person is better than the other. That’s not what this means.

It’s asking, “How can two people who believe differently, have different values and morals have an effective relationship”?

If you have made a decision to live a life according to God’s Word, it’s important that you do your best to put people in your life that have decided the same. If not, you may have a harder time, maybe even impossible time, trying to live a life pleasing to God and one filled with His blessings. You also will open your life up to a boat load of conflicts, arguments, disagreements, and DRAMA. From how to spend your money, how to raise your kids, how to resolve issues…when one person wants to do the Word and the other can care less about doing the Word…you get my drift. The Bible tells us that two people living like this CANNOT do any of the above effectively:

Amos 3:3 (New Living Translation)
Can two people walk together without agreeing on the direction?

1 Corinthians 6:15 (New Living Translation)
What harmony can there be between Christ and the devil? How can a believer be a partner with an unbeliever?

After reading this, it should be pretty clear what the Word of God instructs in regards to being in a romantic relationship with someone that does not confess Jesus as Lord AND does not desire to live according to the Word.

The answer is: We should not do it!

2. I Know People That Are Married but Only One Spouse is Saved…What About Them?

There are many, many circumstances where a couple is married and one person is saved and the other person isn’t.

This could happen for a number of reasons:
1. Neither were saved when they got married, but one became saved after the fact.
2. The saved partner didn’t know any better (regarding what the Word says) at the time they got married.
3. The saved partner really didn’t care that the other person was not saved and married them anyway.

Whatever the reasons are, God in His infinite wisdom has made allowances in His Word for this and has given the saved partner instructions on how to apply the Word:

1 Corinthians 7:12 – 15
12 Now, I will speak to the rest of you, though I do not have a direct command from the Lord. If a Christian man has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to continue living with him, he must not leave her. 13 And if a Christian woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to continue living with her, she must not leave him. 14 For the Christian wife brings holiness to her marriage, and the Christian husband brings holiness to his marriage. Otherwise, your children would not be holy, but now they are holy. 15 (But if the husband or wife who isn’t a believer insists on leaving, let them go. In such cases the Christian husband or wife is no longer bound to the other, for God has called you to live in peace.)

God also gives instructions on how a saved spouse can lead an unsaved spouse to Christ:

1 Peter 3:1 – 2
1 In the same way, you wives must accept the authority of your husbands. Then, even if some refuse to obey the Good News, your godly lives will speak to them without any words. They will be won over 2 by observing your pure and reverent lives.

Even though this scripture is talking to wives, the principle of living a godly life in front of your spouse applies to husbands as well in order for them to lead their unsaved wives to God.

In one area of the Word, God is clearly instructing us to not join ourselves in close relationships (like courting and marriage) with unbelievers, but also shows us how to live if we end up in a marriage with someone that does not believe the Word. God is so good to us.

3. What This is NOT Saying

OK, just to make some things clear, let’s outline a couple of things that this these scriptures are NOT saying:

a. They are not saying that you have a choice to enter into “either” a relationship with a Christian or one with a non-Christian.

Yes, ultimately it is our own choice and free will to do what we want to do, but the Word is instructing us on the best way to enter into a relationship, while also extending grace to those that did not enter into a relationship the best way.

b. They are not saying that a relationship will not work out if you don’t follow instruction #1.

On the contrary, God wants His goodness in our lives and has done all that He can to ensure we experience His goodness, even in our missteps.

Some may have parents that are not both saved. Life can still be good – for both them and for you.

Either application of the Word explained above will produce God’s goodness for all involved. One path may be a bit more challenging than the other, but good nevertheless.

Lesson Downloads
- For Instructors
- For Students

the popcorn race

Materials:

Two buckets full of popcorn

Two empty buckets

A dessert-sized paper plate for each player

Instructions:

1.) Divide the youth group into two teams (maybe more teams depending on how many teens are present).

2.) The first player scoops their plate into the full bucket of popcorn.

3.) Then they hop on one foot to the finish line and pour whatever is left on their plate into their empty bucket.

4.) Then they run back and tag the next person in line, who does the same process. The process continues until the last players on each team reach the finish line.

5.) The team who has the most popcorn in their bucket at the finish line wins!

Play upbeat, energetic music while game is played. The music starts on “Go” and stops when a team wins.

using polls in your youth group with YouVersion

Several months ago, I came across a tool that has really been a tremendous help to my word study time.  This tool is called YouVersion, and from the first day I downloaded it, I became excited about it.

YouVersion is a multi-featured web based application developed by Life Church in Edmond, OK.  The main feature I use from it is its online Bible tool.   If you have an iPhone, BlackBerry, or Android mobile device, there is a downloadable YouVersion application for your convenience.  If you have a different brand of mobile phone, there site is optimized to work in your mobile web browser.   One of the cool things about YouVersion is the convenience of having multiple Bible versions/translations in the palm of your hand – so no matter where you are, as long as you have your mobile device with you, you can read your Bible.

Another cool feature with YouVersion that I’ve recently come across, and what I think will be of a benefit in live events, is their live polling feature.  This feature gives you the ability to poll your audience/youth group/congregation and get instant results.  This would be a great feature to incorporate into your youth Bible study.  My church has used the live polling feature during service and it is eye opening to see the responses and results – almost instantly –  from others in the congregation.

There are plenty of other features that YouVersion offers that could add value to your services.  For more information please visit http://www.youversion.com.

youth leader “RELATE” tip – “praise to parents”

Here’s a quick tip to help build relationships with your teens and their parents.  This month, chose one or two (or a few if you have a bigger youth group) of your teens and write something nice about them.  It can be something that they did that was note worthy, an area of growth that you see them developing in (like reading the Bible more, taking the lead in small groups, praying in front of the group, bringing a friend to Bible study, etc.), or maybe something that they recently achieved in school or somewhere else.

Say something nice and encouraging about them to their parents in a note, put the note in a card or something, and mail it or give it to them personally.  Chose different students to do this for each month and watch the connection between you and their parents start to grow!  The students will feel great too!

For more great Youth Leadership Tips, buy a copy of “Your First Two Years of Youth Ministry” by Doug Fields.

youth group game – “over the mountain!”

This is a good way to get the teens talking and interacting with each other.  Some groups might need to be encouraged to keep the statements appropriate, but it is typically fun and hilarious!

Materials: Chairs for every player minus one.

Instructions:

1.)    Each player sits in a chair in a circle facing the center. One player stands in the center to start the game, (usually the youth leader after he or she explains it.)

2.)    Whoever is in the center makes a statement that applies to him or her and follows the format “Over the mountain if you have ever/never ___________________.” For example, the youth leader may say “Over the mountain if you have ever got called into the principal’s office.”

3.)    Anyone around the circle who can identify with the statement gets up and moves to a new chair. The last one left standing makes the next statement.

You can decide when to end the game. When time gets short, let everyone know when one round is left.

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