recruiting the right youth leaders

I recently helped out with some recruiting efforts at my church for youth ministry.  I assist in Family Ministries there and recently just did a three-week push for children’s ministry recruitment and received a total of 17 new volunteers in one recruitment effort (email me here if you want to know how it happened!).  During the effort, we were able to explain exactly what areas of ministry we needed assistance with and prepared position descriptions to let people know exactly what the volunteer position entailed.  All the position descriptions were custom made to supply our children’s ministry with what we currently need to achieve more maximization of our vision and serve our children and their families well (and better in some circumstances).  For a sample of our children’s ministry position descriptions, shoot me an email and I can send you a few.  Coming in March, we will be launching our Examples Family website which will have a section dedicated to Children’s Ministry and items like this for you to download freely and use for your ministry. 

Anyway, as the e-mails began to fly around preparing for this next attempt to recruit for youth ministry, I began to wonder about youth ministry positions - are our current positions tailor made for our ministry and what we needed?  It reminded me of a question a Youth Ministry Director sent me a few weeks ago after reading an article on our site called “Relational Youth Ministry – Leader Communication with Parents.”    See the question below:

I would like to hear some more suggestions related to this article. We have horrible troubles with communicating to parents even though we do all of the things suggested above. We’ve tried mailing letters, and they say they never get them. We try e-mailing multiple times about everything we do, but parents still act oblivious to what’s happening in the youth group. I really don’t have time to call each parent in the youth group individually for every event. We’re just not sure what to do about this problem.

Well, the problem she describes is definitely not uncommon when working in youth ministry.  A couple of things come to mind when I consider her issue:

1. She may need another hand or two to help out in her youth ministry…or at minimum have her current leaders, if she has the luxury of having leaders on her team, take on additional responsibility to assist her.

2. Maybe creating a position called “Parent Connections Coordinator” could help in directing a new or current volunteer on this specific need and how to go about meeting it.  Just think about it – having one person dedicated to building relationships between the parent and the youth ministry…especially in a smaller church (1 – 500 members is what I’m thinking) – this could potentially go a long way and be very effective.

The volunteer positions that you create don’t have to be ones that are common to other youth ministries.  Drama Coordinator, Small Groups Leader, Jr. High Coordinator, Game Room Supervisor, Alter Worker, etc…all of these are definitely positions that volunteers can fill.  But when you have a specific need, and no extra hands to help meet it, then recruiting may be in order…and having a description to explain your specific need can help you find just the right volunteer match as well as let them know exactly what they are committing to.

Here is a sample position description template for you to use for reference when creating yours.  This is a position we created specifically for what we need here at XYM.  If you have any other questions regarding developing position descriptions and recruting, feel free to comment below!

Position Description – Entertainment/Youth Culture Researcher

 

youth devotion – “true love”

Valentine’s Day is just around the corner.  It a special holiday because it is a day where you are supposed to “initiate actions” to say that you love someone.  When I was young, passing out those “Be Mine”, “You’re Cute” or “You’re So Grooovy” cards with candy was very popular.  And as I got older, giving heart shaped boxes of chocolates was the best way to express to someone that you loved them. 

 Initiating acts of love (which means the love expression starts with something you do) towards others can be very fun and easy to do, especially on Valentine’s Day.  Over time, we begin to associate initiated actions of goodness and kindness with the love we have for others and most times begin to think that initiated actions of love are the only forms of true love.  However, the Bible talks about other forms of love that are just as, if not more, important.  I call them “Responding Acts of Love”.

 What are Responding Acts of Love?

 Responding acts of love are the things you do to express goodness and kindness toward others when they initiate any action (whether good or bad) towards you.  In other words, it is how you react to something that is done to you.  For example, when your classmate gave you the “You’re Groovy” card, you say “Thank You” or give them a card in return.  That’s a responding act of love; someone did something nice for you and you in turn did something nice for them.  That is usually also fun and easy to do. However, the type of responding acts of love I want to discuss today is expressing love towards someone after they have initiated bad actions towards you. To me, this is when true love is expressed in its purest form. 

 As you go through the Bible, it seems like God spends a lot of time instructing us on how to respond when someone does us wrong.  It seems like the appropriate and justified action would be to act mean to them too, but that is so far from what God sees as love.  Let’s look at some instructions from the Bible on how we should respond when we think others have done us wrong.

 Biblical View of Responding Acts of Love

 1.       Being quick to forgive.

Matthew 6:14-15 – “For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.”

 2.       Not taking into account the wrong done to you.

1 Corinthians 13:5 AMP –“…it (love) takes no account of the evil done to it [it pays no attention to a suffered wrong].”

 3.       Not returning an evil for evil.

Matthew 5:38-39 Message – “Here’s another old saying that deserves a second look: ‘Eye for eye, tooth for tooth.’ Is that going to get us anywhere? Here’s what I propose: ‘Don’t hit back at all.’ If someone strikes you, stand there and take it.”

 4.       Speaking kind words in response to harsh words.

Proverbs 15:1 – “A gentle response defuses anger, but a sharp tongue kindles a temper-fire.”

 5.       Pray for those who initiate bad actions toward you.

Matthew 5:44-45 Message – I’m telling you to love your enemies. Let them bring out the best in you, not the worst. When someone gives you a hard time, respond with the energies of prayer, for then you are working out of your true selves, your God-created selves. This is what God does. He gives his best—the sun to warm and the rain to nourish—to everyone, regardless: the good and bad, the nice and nasty.

Doing the above mentioned things is what true love really is. Expressing love to someone that is not expressing love towards you is the love of our God.  Jesus died for us no matter if we choose to serve Him or not.  So, how can you begin to improve your expression of love towards those that are in your life?

great tragedy leads to great love

Close to 200,000 people are dead, more than a million are homeless and the injured include hundreds of thousands. Whether anyone has a connection to Haiti or not, the aftermath is seen through the same lens – a horrific one that reflects the likes of an apocalyptic film. But it is usually in the midst of great tragedy, where many of us show our extension of God’s love towards strangers. This disaster is no different.

“Love is patient and kind (I Cor 13:4).” Many generously wanted to send food, clothes and blankets. However, the best tool Haiti could ever acquire for the massive earthquake cleanup would be the funds to keep the rescue efforts coming. And many responded accordingly. U.S. Magazine reported that celebrities helped raise $9 million in one night on Larry King Live. And this does not include donations the average household contributed to the American Red Cross and other charities. Even the young generation broke media relief records by texting contributions through cell phones and chalking up a $10 charge on next month’s bill. 

 “Love never gives up, never loses faith… (I Cor 13:7).”Aid organization Doctors Without Borders had five supply planes diverted from their rescue mission. But it didn’t stop the organization from using quick thinking to do their absolute all in saving lives. Renzo Fricke, the group’s chief in Haiti, told CNN that in order to make life-saving operations: “This morning we had to buy a saw in the market, in the city … for our surgeons to do amputations,” he said, “the medical equipment is not coming as it should arrive.”

Everyone can do something to make a difference in some way.  No matter your age or your financial position or where you live, we call can do something to help in the relief efforts in Haiti.

1. Give, give, give.  The relief effort in Haiti is not going away any time soon.  There are months of work ahead for the Haitian people to rebuild and financial support will need to keep coming.  Find a local charity (or maybe your local church has something going there) to give financially to as often as you or as God leads.  Examples supports Compassion International, a Christian child advocacy ministry that releases children from spiritual, economic, social and physical poverty and enables them to become responsible, fulfilled Christian adults.  http://www.compassion.com  You can make a donation directly to their Haiti relief effort by clicking the below:

https://www.compassion.com/contribution/default.htm

2. Pray, pray, pray.  We should all pray frequently regarding the recovery of Haiti.  Prayer for the families that lost loved ones, for children who lost parents and siblings, for families that lost homes, for individuals that lost everything, for the government to rebuild and strengthen.  There is so much to pray for and God will hear you and answer.

3. Mission Trips.  If the opportunity presents itself, consider taking a missions trip to Haiti to help in the relief efforts and serve the Haitian people with God’s love.  Northwest Haiti Christian Mission is just one organization that is offering opportunities to travel to Haiti to minister to their people.  http://www.nwhcm.org  Your local church may also be planning trips for you and your family to get involved in. 

We all are able to do at least one of the above items in order to help this country.  If you know of other ways for people to get involved with Haiti relief, please let us know by posting a comment or contacting us at contact@examplesyouth.org.  We will review and post for others to read about.

my daughter, my valentine

 “Your job is to speak out on the things that make for solid doctrine. Guide older men into lives of temperance, dignity, and wisdom, into healthy faith, love, and endurance. Guide older women into lives of reverence so they end up as neither gossips nor drunks, but models of goodness. By looking at them, the younger women will know how to love their husbands and children, be virtuous and pure, keep a good house, be good wives. We don’t want anyone looking down on God’s Message because of their behavior. Also, guide the young men to live disciplined lives. But mostly, show them all this by doing it yourself, incorruptible in your teaching, your words solid and sane. Then anyone who is dead set against us, when he finds nothing weird or misguided, might eventually come around.” (Titus 2:1-8 The Message Translation)

 “Fathers, don’t exasperate your children by coming down hard on them. Take them by the hand and lead them in the way of the Master.” (Ephesians 6:4 The Message Translation)

There is much revelation that can be mined from the two scriptures above, but in this I want to focus more on the relationships between fathers and daughters and the impact fathers have in their lives.

Men, your daughters are watching you.  Everything you do, everything you say, how you treat them, how you treat your wife and other women.  You are the primary example of what the relationship between a man and a woman should be.  Whatever it is you are or are not doing will affect how they view themselves and affect their future relationships.

With this in mind, why don’t we do what the scripture says, to “take them by the hand and lead them in the way of the Master.”  When I see that phrase, personal involvement comes to mind.  I believe what God is telling us is that we need to do more than give our daughters instructions, make rules about curfew and the kind of guys to watch out for.  Not saying there is anything wrong with these things, but there needs to be impartation into their lives.  We need to embrace our responsibility as the leader in our homes and influence and model, not dictate, what is the Godly way. 

Part of our role as a father is to “lead” them in the right way.  Let’s give them an example to follow.  Let’s “take them by the hand” and show them how they are supposed to be treated when out on a date by literally taking them on dates.  This can start early, but it is never too late to start.  My daughter is only two at the time of this article.  Our latest date was a trip to the movies to see “The Princess an the Frog.”  During this time, she is the center of my attention.  I shower her with all the love and affirmation I can come up with.  Even though at two, she rarely makes it through the entire movie without her eyes getting heavy, the point is not that she isn’t old enough to sit through a movie.  The point is that there is one-on-one time with her dad, who is modeling and demonstrating how the gentle, godly love of a man should look and feel.

It is also our role to show our daughters how their future husbands should meet their emotional needs.  Much of this will be modeled by the way we meet the emotional needs of our wives.  They will learn how a man should talk to them, serve them, cover and protect them by our execution of these things towards their mothers – whether the mother is in the home or not. 

Bottom line, when this Valentine’s Day roles around, let’s all decide to do our best to include our daughters in the “romancing” and expressions of love.  Let’s tell them how much we love them so that they don’t have to search for it from others that want to take advantage of them.  Let’s build their self-esteem by telling them they are beautiful, smart, capable, and supporting them in their endeavors even when we may not have a natural interest in those things.  Let’s take the time to listen to them and encourage communication with them.

The Bible says that as arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth (Psalm 127:4).  A mighty man knows his target and he skillfully points his arrows in the direction of that target and hits it. When we set the target for our daughters to be virtuous women of God, we skillfully point them in that direction by the personal, quality time that we spend with them, the gentle and firm instructions and corrections we give, and the Godly example we set before them.  My prayer is that when its time to send my daughter off, she will hit the target God intended for her life. 

You better believe I’m giving it all I have to ensure her safe delivery.

By Eddie Mason, III, Director

family entertainment – “Alice in Wonderland” in 3D

I’m late, I’m late, I’m late for a very important date.  No time to say “Hello”, “Goodbye” I’m late, I’m late, I’m late.

These are some of the most memorable lines in “Alice and Wonderland”.  Do you remember…?  The White Rabbit of course!  This begins Alice’s journey as she follows the White Rabbit down the rabbit hole into Wonderland. 

This was one of my favorite movies growing up as a child.  I remember watching it constantly with my two cousins.  Alice adventure ran her into some interesting characters such as the Cheshire Cat, the March Hare, the Red Queen and who could forget the Mad Hatter.

Well guess what….Alice has returned to Wonderland!  That’s right…Disney has made a 3-D sequel scheduled for release March 5th.  In the sequel Alice is now 19 and attends a party at a Victorian estate shortly after the death of her father. The party is a surprise engagement party for Alice planned by her mother and sister. Just as the arrogant and dull Hamish Ascot proposes to Alice under a gazebo and under the eyes of hundreds of snooty society-types, Alice spots a white rabbit wearing a waistcoat and pocket watch. In shock and confusion, she runs off into a maze and follows the White Rabbit through it, only to later tumble down a rabbit hole into Wonderland, a place she has visited ten years before, yet doesn’t remember. In Wonderland, she reunites with her childhood friends, including the Mad Hatter, who explains to Alice that they need her help in over-throwing the Red Queen, who has assumed control of all Wonderland. Alice then embarks — assuming both large and small sizes — on an adventure of self discovery and to save Wonderland and her Wonderland friends from both the Jabberwocky and the Red Queen’s reign of terror.

 The movie is not currently rated but should prove to be a good family flick.  Go check it out and let us know what you think!

Watch the movie trailer here.

By Valerie Kennedy (adapted from Wikipedia)
XYM Entertainment Researcher

is it okay to date a non-christian? (lesson)

There are many things that I believe the Bible gives very clear instructions on, but at the same time gives room for “heart intent” and grace for limited understanding and times of personal growth and maturity in the Word. The subject of this lesson, I believe, falls into this category.

1. No Communion with Unbelievers

Let’s start by looking at 2 Corinthians 6:14.

Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in
common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?

The word yoked means to be “joined” together or to be “attached.”

When people fellowship or when you have a “communion”, there is some type of common association in which an “exchange” of some sort is happening.

Here are a few types of words used to describe fellowship and communion:

Share, community, association, joint participation…here are some deep ones…intimacy, intercourse (Oooo…)

Based on these words, this scripture is basically asking us:
“How can two people that are unequal have a true, intimate relationship?”

We are not saying that one person is better than the other. That’s not what this means.

It’s asking, “How can two people who believe differently, have different values and morals have an effective relationship”?

If you have made a decision to live a life according to God’s Word, it’s important that you do your best to put people in your life that have decided the same. If not, you may have a harder time, maybe even impossible time, trying to live a life pleasing to God and one filled with His blessings. You also will open your life up to a boat load of conflicts, arguments, disagreements, and DRAMA. From how to spend your money, how to raise your kids, how to resolve issues…when one person wants to do the Word and the other can care less about doing the Word…you get my drift. The Bible tells us that two people living like this CANNOT do any of the above effectively:

Amos 3:3 (New Living Translation)
Can two people walk together without agreeing on the direction?

1 Corinthians 6:15 (New Living Translation)
What harmony can there be between Christ and the devil? How can a believer be a partner with an unbeliever?

After reading this, it should be pretty clear what the Word of God instructs in regards to being in a romantic relationship with someone that does not confess Jesus as Lord AND does not desire to live according to the Word.

The answer is: We should not do it!

2. I Know People That Are Married but Only One Spouse is Saved…What About Them?

There are many, many circumstances where a couple is married and one person is saved and the other person isn’t.

This could happen for a number of reasons:
1. Neither were saved when they got married, but one became saved after the fact.
2. The saved partner didn’t know any better (regarding what the Word says) at the time they got married.
3. The saved partner really didn’t care that the other person was not saved and married them anyway.

Whatever the reasons are, God in His infinite wisdom has made allowances in His Word for this and has given the saved partner instructions on how to apply the Word:

1 Corinthians 7:12 – 15
12 Now, I will speak to the rest of you, though I do not have a direct command from the Lord. If a Christian man has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to continue living with him, he must not leave her. 13 And if a Christian woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to continue living with her, she must not leave him. 14 For the Christian wife brings holiness to her marriage, and the Christian husband brings holiness to his marriage. Otherwise, your children would not be holy, but now they are holy. 15 (But if the husband or wife who isn’t a believer insists on leaving, let them go. In such cases the Christian husband or wife is no longer bound to the other, for God has called you to live in peace.)

God also gives instructions on how a saved spouse can lead an unsaved spouse to Christ:

1 Peter 3:1 – 2
1 In the same way, you wives must accept the authority of your husbands. Then, even if some refuse to obey the Good News, your godly lives will speak to them without any words. They will be won over 2 by observing your pure and reverent lives.

Even though this scripture is talking to wives, the principle of living a godly life in front of your spouse applies to husbands as well in order for them to lead their unsaved wives to God.

In one area of the Word, God is clearly instructing us to not join ourselves in close relationships (like courting and marriage) with unbelievers, but also shows us how to live if we end up in a marriage with someone that does not believe the Word. God is so good to us.

3. What This is NOT Saying

OK, just to make some things clear, let’s outline a couple of things that this these scriptures are NOT saying:

a. They are not saying that you have a choice to enter into “either” a relationship with a Christian or one with a non-Christian.

Yes, ultimately it is our own choice and free will to do what we want to do, but the Word is instructing us on the best way to enter into a relationship, while also extending grace to those that did not enter into a relationship the best way.

b. They are not saying that a relationship will not work out if you don’t follow instruction #1.

On the contrary, God wants His goodness in our lives and has done all that He can to ensure we experience His goodness, even in our missteps.

Some may have parents that are not both saved. Life can still be good – for both them and for you.

Either application of the Word explained above will produce God’s goodness for all involved. One path may be a bit more challenging than the other, but good nevertheless.

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